The extraordinary YA TikTok sensation about learning to survive unthinkable trauma from bestselling author, Amber Smith

'After finishing this book, my heart was pounding and I couldn't find words big enough to describe how brilliant, beautiful, and powerful it is.' L.E. Flynn, author of All Eyes On Her

All Eden wants is to rewind the clock. To live that day again. She would do everything differently. Not laugh at his jokes or ignore the way he was looking at her that night. And she would definitely lock her bedroom door.

But Eden can't turn back time. So she buries the truth, along with the girl she used to be. She pretends she doesn't need friends, doesn't need love, doesn't need justice. But as her world unravels, one thing becomes clear: the only person who can save Eden... is Eden.

'A courageous, necessary, and beautiful book.' Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces

'A raw novel that'll stay with you long after you finish.' Buzzfeed

THE TIKTOK SENSATION THAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

About the Author

Amber Smith is the award-winning and New York Times bestselling author of the young adult novels The Way I Used to Be, The Last to Let Go, and Something Like Gravity. An advocate for increased awareness of gendered violence, mental health, and LGBTQ+ equality, she writes in the hope that her books can help to foster change and spark dialogue. She grew up in Buffalo, New York, and now lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her wife and their ever-growing family of rescued dogs and cats. Visit her online at AmberSmithAuthor.com

Reviews

'A difficult, painful journey, but teens who have experienced rape and abuse will be grateful for this unvarnished and ultimately hopeful portrait. Eden's shell-shocked narrative is an excellent narrative conduit for what Smith has to say.' Booklist

'Eden is a young woman silenced by threat and shame, but so too is she a character who will inspire hope, for her extraordinarily gripping story is not only a call for action but a reminder of the power we find within ourselves to overcome and survive.' Amy Beashel, author of We Are All Constellations

'This young adult novel is an unflinching look at the struggles of a rape victim to process her trauma and find the strength to rebuild her life.' Laurie Halse Anderson, author of Speak

'This isn't an easy read, but it's an important one... I was incredibly moved by Smith's powerful writing, and Eden's story of growth and survival is one you won't want to miss. You'll be thinking about this one long after you read that final page.' Seventeen Magazine

'The Way I Used to Be explores the aftermath of sexual assault with a precision and searing honesty that is often terrifying, sometimes eerily beautiful, and always completely true. It is The Hero's Journey through a distorted circus mirror - one girl's quest to turn desperation into courage, to become a survivor instead of a victim. Amber Smith gets it exactly right.' Amy Reed, author of The Nowhere Girls

Book Information
ISBN 9780861546732
Author Amber Smith
Format Paperback
Page Count 384
Imprint Rock the Boat
Publisher Oneworld Publications
Dimensions(mm) 198mm * 129mm * 28mm