Collected wisdom from the internet's best-loved advice columnist.

I recently learned from one of my co-workers that my boss gathered everyone together after I was hired and told them that I was nonbinary and used they/them pronouns, which isn't true - I'd been very clear that I'm a trans man who uses male pronouns. How should I handle this?

My husband keeps leaving his toenail clippings around the house. I've started slipping them into his coffee cup. Is there a better solution?

I think I'm in love with my brother's wife. What should I do?

A collection of the weirdest and wildest questions sent to Slate's longtime agony aunt, internet darling Daniel M. Lavery, whose sympathetic, thoughtful, good-humoured advice is read by millions.

Featuring new material as well as fan favourites, this is a must-have for Dear Prudence fans and a dose of good sense, compassion, and understanding in an increasingly fractured world.

About the Author
Daniel M. Lavery is a co-founder of The Toast and the author of Texts From Jane Eyre, The Merry Spinster, and Something That May Shock and Discredit You. Lavery wrote Slate's Dear Prudence column from 2016 to 2021. He writes an email newsletter at Substack called 'The Chatner'.

Reviews

'For five years Daniel Lavery wrote the popular advice column Dear Prudence for the online American magazine Slate [which] attracted an enthusiastic audience... Lavery's compassionate and idiosyncratic reflections thrust him into the public limelight. Dear Prudence is a collection of the weirdest and wildest questions, including privacy violations by a spy-cam wearing cat, sent to the column, and a reflection by Lavery on how his public gender transition and split from his religious family impacted on the advice he gave. Often funny and insightful, Dear Prudence is also quite poignant and moving at times.'

-- Jeff Popple * Canberra Weekly *

'Slate's advice-giving Prudence fields questions about relationships, work dilemmas, social faux pas, and just about everything else. Lavery was the fourth Prudence ... Under his tenure, Prudie's advice was modern and informed but presented with enough of the gentility and clever turns of phrase of the classic advice-givers to endear the column to a wide readership. Collected here are some of his favourite letters with notes on those that kept him up at night, those he wished he'd answered differently, and those he still hopes had happy endings. The collection is organised thematically, and Lavery winds his own life experience through the commentary, including his estrangement from his family and his gender transition ... Across the board, this retrospective is entertaining and comforting. Answers for those hurting are affirming, gentle, and knowledgeable, but for those on the other side, his wit is on full display and his biting responses satisfyingly pull no punches.'

* Booklist *

'I loved the letters, Lavery's responses, and Lavery's approach to Dear Prudence.'

* Keeping Up With the Penguins *

'Reliably entertaining ... Lavery replied with wit and empathy and as you read more letters, you learn more about Lavery himself.'

-- Prudence Wade * The i *

Praise for Something That May Shock and Discredit You:

'At last, we have the work of transgender bathos we didn't know we needed, but very much do ... [Lavery's] narrative is anything but linear: It skips back in time to mythic Greece, traipses across the landscape of contemporary pop culture and, in one wonderfully fabulist entry that would make Carmen Maria Machado proud, slips outside of time altogether ... One of our smartest, most inventive humour writers, [Lavery] combines bathos and the devotional into a revelation.'

-- Jordy Rosenberg * The New York Times *

Praise for Something That May Shock and Discredit You:

'[Lavery's] playful takes on pop culture as he explores everything from House Hunters to Golden Girls to Lord Byron, Lacan, and Rilke ... [Lavery's] writing is vulnerable but confident, specific but never narrow, literal and lyrical. The author is refreshingly unafraid of his own uncertainty, but he's always definitive where it counts ... You'll laugh, you'll cry, often both at once. Everyone should read this extraordinary book.'

* Kirkus Reviews, starred review *

Praise for Something That May Shock and Discredit You:

'[A] memoir comprised of the humorous essays that have become his trademark ... Some are essays and some are scripts or imagined conversations; at first the chapters and interludes are distinct, but at a certain point they start to blend together. All are hilarious, infused with the type of magical thinking Lavery excels at. They weave Lavery's life experiences together with his historical and pop-cultural obsession.'

-- Claire Landsbaum * Vanity Fair *



Book Information
ISBN 9781914484131
Author Daniel M. Lavery
Format Paperback
Page Count 336
Imprint Scribe Publications
Publisher Scribe Publications