'This is a remarkable book. The honesty is startling and potent'
Dawn French

'You have to buy this book. I mean it. It's very funny and sad and utterly true. It's a life-saver'
Miriam Margolyes

Hi. I hope you're ok.

My name's Joe, and I have one job, every day: don't kill myself.

I live with a complex mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

15% of people with BPD die by suicide, and 40% try.

I'm already in the 40%. My job is to keep out of the 15%.

In this book I want to try and explain what life is like when you have a brain that is essentially trying to murder you every day. It's a collection of the funny, sad and shocking stuff that has happened to me along the way.

Writing this book has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It had to be dragged into the world, with my condition telling me that every single word, sentence and chapter was terrible and would make strangers walk up to me in the street and punch me in the face.

But I had run out of options. I'd done everything I 'd been told to do and I still thought about killing myself every day. So I wrote this book to save my life.

But if there is even the smallest chance that me telling you how I live with me helps you live with you; if it opens up a space for someone, somewhere to be more honest about their mental illness, it will have been worth it.

Please don't kill yourself.

Love Joe xx

'Please read this book. It will make the world a better place'
James O'Brien

'This book will save lives'
Lorraine Kelly

'Just holding this book will make you a better person'
Paddy McGuinness

'Truly ground-breaking...I gulped it down in one greedy go, crying and laughing as I went'
Bryony Gordon

'Painfully honest but funny and very human'
Shaparak Khorsandi

'I loved its humour, compassion and deep honesty'
Katherine May

'He tries to explain what your life is like when you essentially have a brain that's trying to kill you every day.'
Davina McCall

About the Author

Joe Tracini is an actor, author, presenter and comedian and British champion magician.

He's starred in many TV shows including Hollyoaks, Coming of Age and The Great Outdoors, and he's the host of the BAFTA winning 'The Dengineers'.

He's been acting like an idiot and talking about his broken brain on Twitter for a while now, and since March 2020 when there were suddenly a lot more people with a lot less on, his videos have been viewed over 90 million times.

His top 3 favorite things are food, sleep and avoiding social interactions, and he has a deep hatred of writing about himself in the third person.

Reviews
You have to buy this book. I mean it. It's very funny and sad and utterly true. It's a life-saver. And Joe Tracini is a magician. He wins in the end. And so will you * Miriam Margolyes *
A remarkable book. The honesty is startling, and potent. IT IS UTTERLY NOT S**T' * Dawn French *
A truly extraordinary book. Brave, beautiful and brilliant. Heartbreaking, harrowing and frequently hilarious. Joe Tracini travels to the horrible heart of his abominable illness and unflinchingly examines the misery it has heaped upon him and everyone around him. Incredibly, he emerges from the darkness with a timeless tale of love, hope and redemption that will be of immeasurable help to people facing the most destructive demons and, crucially, everyone who loves them. Please read this book. It will make the world a better place * James O'Brien *
This a searingly honest must read. Joe has wisdom, kindness and a deep understanding of mental health issues. He is also hilarious with a delicious sense of humour. His book will save lives and I cannot recommend it highly enough * Lorraine Kelly *
Just holding this book will make you a better person * Paddy McGuinness *
'I didn't know anything about BPD till I watched Joe's videos. He has a very dark side and a very funny side of himself. He tries to explain what your life is like when you essentially have a brain that's trying to kill you every day.' - Davina McCall
'I loved its humour, compassion and deep honesty' - Katherine May



Book Information
ISBN 9781398705937
Author Joe Tracini
Format Hardback
Page Count 272
Imprint Trapeze
Publisher Orion Publishing Co
Weight(grams) 391g
Dimensions(mm) 222mm * 144mm * 30mm