This book explores the unique group of elders, age 55 and older, who practice some form of consensual non-monogamy. It covers both the joys and challenges of multiple relationships for elders. Poly elders have the complexities of juggling multiple relationships, as well as managing all the issues of aging: managing medical conditions and disabilities (their own and/or their partners'), caregiving responsibilities for aging relatives, grieving the deaths of parents, siblings, and partners, retiring from careers and starting new lives, and/or moving into some form of senior living.

Elders appear to be the fastest-growing segment of the polyamorous community. About one-fifth of Americans have been in a polyamorous relationship at some point, and around 5% currently are practicing it. Many elders have practiced polyamory for over 40 years, and are currently in stable, very long-term relationships.

The book provides anecdotes from poly elders' lives, including the constellation of relationships surrounding each individual, couple, or triad. It explores how their relationships develop and evolve. Many of the issues that face older poly folks are issues directly related to aging, but they usually have a uniquely poly "spin" to them that can make them more complex and challenging.

About the Author

Kathy Labriola is a counselor, nurse, and hypnotherapist in a private practice in Berkeley, California, providing affordable mental health services to people in non-traditional relationships for the past 30 years, including the poly, kink, LGBTQ, and sex worker communities. She is the author of Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, The Jealousy Workbook, and The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival. She has been a political activist and a card-carrying bisexual and polyamorist for 50 years. She is "extra crunchy" and lives in a housing cooperative, where she bikes, raises chickens, and grows organic vegetables. Her personal website is www.kathylabriola.com.

Reviews

As a Relational Therapist who works with polyamorous clients, I was delighted to read Polyamorous Elders. This book offers a comprehensive and evidence-based guide to better understand the lived experiences of aging polyamorous folks. After reading Polyamorous Elders, I believe that practitioners will be more equipped to facilitate effective individual and relational therapeutic services to polyamorous clients.

-- Carling Mashinter, MSc, registered psychotherapist, Relationship Matters Therapy Centre

Having enjoyed Kathy Labriola's previous work, I was delighted to read her latest. She approaches polyamorous relationships with an accessible, thoughtful, and deft sense of compassion and thorough research.

-- Rosie Wilby, author of Is Monogamy Dead? and The Breakup Monologues

This text is a readable and engaging look into the lives of polyamorous elders. It is suitable for researchers or clinical practitioners hoping to apply the work, but would also serve well as an entranceway for academics and students investigating sex and aging and looking for more data and overall consideration of polyamorous relationships. A timely topic deserving of more attention.

-- Jeanne Marie Kusina, interim director of The Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning; Distinguished University Lecturer, The University of Toledo

This book is engaging, accessible, expansive, and detailed. Obviously, it helps that the topic is fascinating, but Labriola presents these issues and cases in a straightforward and non-judgmental fashion. I routinely had my assumptions challenged even though I consider myself open-minded and have studied polyamory and human sexuality for several years. The strengths of this text include the author's expertise and clinical experience, the broad variety of polyamorous relationships presented, sympathetic attention to their challenges, and the good faith effort to honor intersectionality so as to sufficiently represent as many polyamorous people and relationships as possible.

-- Albert Spencer, Communications Director, Society for the Advancement of American Philosophy and assistant professor, Department of Philosophy, Portland State University

This book uniquely considers the special needs and outlook of people 55+ who identify as polyamorous. Not just an overview or a self-help book, the approach and information are very well-supported from the author's deep knowledge of polyamory, polyamorous communities, and her ongoing work with aging clients.

-- Annalisa Castaldo, associate professor of English, Director of Gender, Women, and Sexuality Studies, Widener University

This is an essential guide for counselors, therapists and healthcare professionals working with polyamorous clients. The author has managed to address so many issues, from sex life to retirement to facing death and grief, and has done so insightfully, drawing on several case studies. As a family therapist and an openly polyamorous person over 50, I am thrilled to see this book finally out in the world!

-- Alex Iantaffi, PhD, MS, SEP, CST, LMFT, award-winning author of Gender Trauma: Healing Cultural, Social, and Historical Gendered Trauma and independent scholar

In Polyamous Elders: Aging in Open Relationships, Kathy Labriola gives us an intimate window into the lives of older individuals whose zest for life still burns bright. Whether for love, sex, companionship or all of the above, older individuals know they have earned the right to choose the path that fits them best and enables them to enjoy levels of satisfaction and bliss that often elude the younger and less experienced. My wish for you, dear reader, is that these personal stories will inspire you to live your life to its very fullest regardless of your age.

-- Veronica Monet, ACS, author, coach, and founder of The Shame Free Zone

As both an aspiring "polygeezer" and CNM (consensual non-monogamy) psychologist, this volume spoke to my heart and my practice. Labriola's work opens up the often untold stories of polyamorous elders and allows us to learn from their lived experiences and worlds. The accounts Labriola shares are multifaceted and honest portrayals of the distinct challenges polyamorous elders face and the ways that they are navigated!

-- Elizabeth Duke, PsyD



Book Information
ISBN 9781538169278
Author Kathy Labriola
Format Paperback
Page Count 352
Imprint Rowman & Littlefield
Publisher Rowman & Littlefield
Weight(grams) 472g
Dimensions(mm) 255mm * 177mm * 14mm